Snow Days and Hurricanes

I grew up in Atlanta where we had snow days, not often, but we had them. Basically, the entire city would shut down and the schools would close if there was even an inch of snow in the forecast. Most snow days were spent playing outside in a mix of mud and (if we were lucky) a little snow. Still, we were outside playing. Now that I live in Florida, snow days are a thing of the past. Here we have hurricanes. Yes, they can be scary, but depending on the category, mostly just a bunch of wind and rain. The beaches will shut down, and if the winds get to a sustained 40 miles per hour, they will close the bridges and you will either be stuck in town, we call that over the ditch, or stuck at the beach where there is nothing to do because everything is closed. I am the type of parent that will allow my Frankie to play in the rain and puddles as long as there is no lighting. However, if it is raining sideways, it is not enjoyable to play in the rain. This means that during a hurricane or severe tropical storm, we don’t enjoy playing in the rain.

Being stuck in the house for days with a toddler can be challenging, sometimes scarier than the hurricane itself, especially if we are not “vibing”. You know what I mean? She will push the boundaries; she is doing all the things that drive me crazy. That could be whining about everything. For example, she asks for apples, I slice an apple, she will whine because it is in slices not bite sized pieces (she never eats them in bite sized pieces). She asks for noodle soup, but the noodles aren’t the “rainbow” noodles. You name it, it isn’t to her little tyrant standards. Basically, she is my mean boss for the day. I decide it is a good day for a movie because strangling her isn’t a legal option, besides, I would miss them by bedtime. So, I give her a choice of movies and she continuously ask for the one I did not have as an option. Finally, a movie is decided on, usually the one she insisted on because it is not a struggle I will win, and she is now quiet. Just as I sit down at the computer to be productive, my rear has not even hit the chair and I hear “I need a snack?” comes from her irritating little mouth. Not, “may I please have a snack”, not “can I have a snack”, but basically demanding a snack, and NOW. I jump up to make a snack, asking her exactly what she wants and how she wants it, so it does not cause any problems turn into a tantrum. I am walking on eggshells at this point. Going against my better judgment, we decide on popcorn. As I hand her the bowl of popcorn, she responds with “where are my M&M’s?”. This is because one time 5 months ago during family night I wanted to make it special, so I added some Yum Earth Choco Yums to the popcorn for all to enjoy and now she considers that the standard way to eat popcorn. Insert eyeroll emoji.

My little demanding ruler seems satisfied, great! I go to sit down, and I hear? “I'm thirsty!” So, back to the kitchen to prepare her a beverage. Now, she is all set, and shouldn’t ask for anything else. I even go to her room to get her blanket and lovely, anticipating her needs, and finally, I am all set to get a little work done. But no, now she has to go potty. It is useless, I want to tell her to do it herself, but that is not a wise choice as I am trying not to discourage the potty-training process. So, back up to take her to the toilet and assist with all her potty needs. Ok, now, there can’t be anything else she will need. “Mommy, I had an accident”. How is this possible? We just went to the bathroom! Oh, but a couple of drops have now made her panties wet, making it impossible to sit comfortably. We go to change them, but the panties she wants aren’t clean, so now there is a need for a complete melt-down. Breathe, just breathe. Yoga would be an excellent choice to get the thought of strangling her out of my head. Just close your eyes and breathe, in 1…2…3…4…out 1…2…3…4…. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing” I want to respond with “trying not to kill you”, but don’t want that repeated, so. I respond to let her know I am taking a minute to breathe because I am feeling frustrated. I learned this from a child Psychologist. It worked; she stopped screaming. I told her, let’s just not wear any panties for now. She liked that idea, who wouldn’t? There is something freeing about not always doing the norm. Great, back to the movie for her and back to the computer for me. Now mind you, it has been an hour since we started this movie, it feels like 24 hours, but we are only an hour closer to bedtime. Oh, but look at that, it is time to start prepping for dinner. Doing any computer work is now out of the question.

As I make my way into the kitchen to start prepping dinner, I hear “Mommy, I’m hungry.”

I just repeat to myself “I love my child, I love my child, I made my child, I love my child.” This time I opt for grapes, because this way we can avoid cutting it wrong. Surprisingly, there was no argument. I continue to prepare dinner and realize it is too quiet. Did she get a grape lodged in her throat? I quickly run to see, and she is actually watching the movie and eating grapes. I find it interesting that all I needed was a few quiet minutes to do some work but, as soon as it is quiet, I think the worst has happened. Ugh, am I doing this right?