Here’s to Much More in 2024
As we are already more than two weeks into the New Year, I can’t help but wonder what it will bring. I have a gut feeling something big is coming. Although there are many predictions, I have faith that whatever happens, it will be worth any suffering endured. I recently listened to a podcast that discussed how so many civilizations have collapsed only to reemerge to something better. Everything is cyclical and we are nearing the end of a cycle. We even live our lives day to day in cycles. Some more attuned to the natural rhythm of the universe as a whole. Some more intune with the life that societies foresee as what should be. Others, not attuned at all, for lack of a better phrase, “with their head up their ass”…or somebody else's. I say that confidently, because I have been there. Now, I am raising a tiny human and it is more important than ever to lead her to be on her own natural cycle.
Over the last several years, I have been contemplating what I choose to be my normal. Seeking a new rhythm and realizing that just because it is what I have always done, doesn’t necessarily make it right for me now. Especially as I bring up my precious little girl into this world. There are plenty of examples, for one, working a job. Quite literally that. Showing up, doing a job and making a paycheck. My past career choices alone reflect that I was teetering between loving what I do and just making a paycheck. During my time in the food and beverage industry, I felt naturally comfortable. Usually the only time I didn’t enjoy it was when I let someone else I worked with affect me negatively. Realizing that I can’t control others actions, I can only control my response to it. Thus, making the industry even more enjoyable. If I had only learned sooner, things could have been a little less chaotic. Aforementioned, I am making the choice to start living life more aware of my intentions. Why did I ever allow people to affect me the way I did? It doesn’t seem natural to be so hyper focused on what others think or do. Now that I choose to do what I know is right for me and my family without concern of what others think I should do, life is less complicated. Thankfully, because raising a kind human is complicated enough.
Outside influences no longer have my interest. I find myself going inward to see and feel what is appropriate for this life, in hopes of raising Frankie to do the same. In my eyes, society as a whole is lost. Most people are more concerned with what others are doing to influence their actions. It is a very interesting industry, Influencers, getting paid to influence people's choices.
Social media and Hollywood have played a key role in this movement. Such a peculiar form of marketing, but it works and is considerably cheap. Some do it just for products. Others gain capital revenue for it. All and all, it seems to be a slippery slope because I know these influencers do not have anyone's best interest in mind, only their own.
When I was younger, I remember my mom using the phrase “they are a bad influence” about someone I might be hanging out with. Especially if they did something that my mom did not agree with. My approach for Frankie will be different because that doesn’t feel right for us. Good or bad, I hope that Frankie will not be influenced by anyone. So my phrase will be, “let’s not allow anyone to influence our choice.” My hope is that Frankie will make choices based on her own intuition. Although it is easier said than done, my goal is to allow her to make choices on her own even though she is still very young. I will of course discuss possible outcomes of her choices to keep her safe and out of harm's way. This is not going to be easy for me, however, if I try to influence her choices now, it will only set the stage for her to seek outside influences later in life.
One of the hardest parts of parenting for me is distinguishing between the healthy and unhealthy styles of parenting I received. In other words, what cycles I want to break from how I was raised. Something I see over and over again is “healing childhood trauma”. Of course, looking back, I realize that I never considered myself traumatized. My sisters don’t necessarily agree. Sometimes I feel like we didn’t even have the same parents, although we certainly did. Then I consider the age difference and the type of parent I would have been five to ten years ago, then it becomes clear. No one goes into parenthood knowing what they are doing. It is a learning process. Luckily, I have two older sisters that I learned from. Both of my sisters had children long before I did. I have watched them raise their children and have learned things that I think will work for us and things that won’t. Also, I do seek their advice and hear what they have to say. However, I may not always do what they said worked for them. It’s ok to get advice and not use it. Sometimes when they give me advice, it helps me come to a conclusion of my own that is nothing like what they described. Yet, their thoughts and ideas help open my mind to other possibilities. I guess you could say, my sisters have a large influence on my parenting skills. Still a better influence than some stranger whose intentions are pursued by money or products, at least that’s what I think.